Postcards From Crazytown 26
When Shannon hung up, she looked distressed. Worried.
"What did he say?" I asked, wiping my eyes and trying to stop crying.
"He's a terrible person, Lindsay," she said, plainly. "I dont know how he fooled you for so long. Don't go back to him?"
I shook my head, but inside I was dying.
It really was over.
And I wasn't sure how I would make it without him.
Shannon made me comfortable and insisted that during my stay I would take her bed since I was a "pregnant lady" and she would sleep on the sofabed. I protested, but she would hear none of it. We ordered pizza for dinner and tried not to talk about Frank, but I just kept thinking about him and my situation. I started crying again and saying I wanted my mother.
"Now don't be crazy," Shannon said, hastily. "She will only make you feel worse. How about we get out of the house and go do something? Like go to a movie?"
"Okay," I agreed, half-heartedly. "Maybe it will take my mind off of the fact that I am pregnant, alone and home
Postcards From Crazytown 25
I looked back at the back door, feeling like I had heard something while Gerard and I had been talking, but there was no one there. I returned my gaze to my own hands, which I was fidgeting with nervously.
"It's going to be fine, Frank," Gerard said. "It's only natural to be scared, this is a huge thing. But you can make it work. It might be hard when the baby is first born, but once we get on our feet everything will work out. I believe in this band and I know we have the potential to make it. Once we make it, you and Lindsay won't have to worry anymore."
I nodded in response. And I wanted so much to believe his words. I wanted everything to work out. I loved Lindsay and I knew that we had a lot of love to give our baby, I was just worried that I wouldn't be able to come through on the money part. Or the time part.
"I'll help you guys any way I can," Gerard said.
"You're welcome. Now, you should probably be getting back home to Lindsay. She's probably wonderin
Postcards From Crazytown 24
Well it had been awhile since my one true love, Frank, had left to supposedly go to the store. I was starting to wonder what was holding him up. I thought maybe the store was crowded, as it sometimes is on weekends. Then I wondered if maybe today would be the day that he would pop the big question. I was really excited, and I know that I had said we shouldn't tell anyone but I just had to tell Shannon. I had to share my happiness with my best friend. So I sent her a text to tell her I wanted to talk to her. I asked her where she was. She said she was at Gerard's and told me to come over. So I headed over there.
When I got there and took off my coat, she asked me if I was looking for Frank.
"Uh, no. I know where he is. He's running some errands."
"Oh, well he must've stopped by here on his way home, then."
"What? He's here?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah, out back with Gerard."
"Oh. Well, I'm just gonna go say hi," I said.
She came with me, and we opened the back door, slightly
Postcards From Crazytown 23
What the hell am I going to do?!
I have just found out that I am going to be a dad, and I don't even have any clue what I'm doing with my own life yet! I have nothing to offer this kid and I have no idea when I will!
Even if My Chem gets signed soon we will still be spending God knows how long broke and on tour in a shitty van, barely able to feed ourselves! I can't take her with me like I'd planned, she'll be pregnant. Then she'll have to stay at home with the baby by herself. I don't want to have a family that I never get to see! And even though I would be willing to give up my dream and get a regular job, I still would never see my family between work and school. And it's not exactly as if some minimum wage job is going to support the three of us until I get out of school. If I even graduate, considering my grades are shitty! And if I do graduate, then what? Get some boring business job I hate that I will only resent until I begin to rese