C.O.A.D.V. 36

Seeing Red
Lindsay POV

Three words:

Worst. Day. Ever.

Okay, obviously there is some kind of universal law of luck that states that when you have the best day ever you must have the worst day ever immediately following it, but you know what? I think that rule is lame. Why couldn't I just stay happy? Why'd it all have to get ruined?

Well the first person to crap all over my parade was, of course, my mom.

I told her about the apartment idea this morning and she...went...nuclear.

She said that I wasn't responsible enough to have my own apartment yet and I for sure did not need to be living with some boy who was only going to break my heart or impregnate me or both. Then she added that she didn't want me living with David Lazarra's kid, who if he was anything like his dad she would not trust any further than she could throw him. She wouldn't elaborate on the Adam's dad thing, she would only say that she knew things from talking to Adam's mom. Mom says that even if Adam is not a total nut like his dad, it was a bad idea to move in with another couple because it will be constant drama.

"Whatever relationship he has with this Paulina girl is destined for failure. When they break up and one or both of them decides to move out, how are you and Frank gonna pay for that apartment?" she asked. "You're going to be calling me needing rent money and I am not paying for you to shack up with some boy you have convinced yourself you are in love with! Absolutely not!"

"Well, it's my life and I can do what I want! You can't stop me! I don't understand why you're always trying to hold me back!" I screamed, as we argued in the kitchen after breakfast.

"Honey," she said, putting her hands on my shoulders. "I'm not trying to hold you back. I'm trying to keep you from getting hurt. You think you love this boy -"

"I do!"

"Even if you do, sweetheart, living with him is not a good idea. That's the quickest way to ruin a relationship. You're only going to get bored with each other, since I know you'll be sleeping together every night. I mean who's going to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free? It might be an old saying, but it still rings true. Then next thing you know it'll be over and you'll look back and realize you've wasted part of your life that you can never get back on a relationship that is now going nowhere. Why? Because you put the cart in front of the horse. You're rushing things, Lindsay. If you love Frank, take it slow. You should be married before you live together."

"That's totally old fashioned and backwards. Frank is not just my boyfriend he is my best friend. Why wouldn't I want to live with him? If Paulina and Adam move out we'll just get new roommates. But I want this. We can handle it. I can handle it."

"How? You can't handle anything, Lindsay! You have zero responsibilities and you hate to clean! Now you are telling me that you're going to take care of an apartment and a boyfriend and pay bills and go to school? You're not responsible enough!"

"I am very responsible! I can take care of things!"

"You can't even take care of a fish!" she cried, throwing her hands up.

Ooh! How dare she bring Lars "The Annihilator" into this?! It's not my fault he died!

Well, it kinda is...

See, I got him about 6 months ago and when I bought him they told me I was supposed to get this water softener for his water and I kinda forgot to pick some up but I really meant to get it and the next thing I knew two weeks had passed and...well, I came home to find that Lars "The Annihilator" had been annihilated. I cried. He was floating at the top of the water with his mouth open. It was horrific.

I can't believe she would bring up such a traumatic event at a time like this!

"I can take care of the apartment -"

"Like you take care of your room? It's a sty at the moment, Lindsay."

"I was gonna clean it -"

"You always have excuses."

"When I move out it will be different!"

"It won't!"

"And school will be no problem, I am smart -"

"But college is different. It's about multi-tasking almost more so than learning. And you are easily distracted, Lindsay."

"So basically, you're saying I'm just retarded," I summarized, getting angry. I had already passed offended, hurt and frustrated. By that point I was just angry.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you need to live in the dorms where it's stress-free, take your birth control pills, and learn to juggle your courseload before you start going off and getting a job and moving in with a boy. And you don't need to live with your boyfriend period. He will never propose to you ever. You'll just be his girlfriend for years and then he'll move on to someone new and you'll be old and alone."

My mouth fell open.

Leave it to mom to paint a picture where I am old and alone.

And retarded.

"Honey, I'm only telling you these things because I love you," she said.

"No, I don't think you do," I said. "If you loved me you would want me to be happy. But you don't want me to have anything! I would think that you would be happy that I found someone but you're not! Well, you can't control me forever, mom. I am going to move in with Frank at the end of the summer."

"Really?" she asked, and crossed her arms. "If you move in with Frank you are cut off. Since you are in such a hurry to grow up and make your own decisions, you are on your own missy. From now on you can pay for everything you need yourself, so you'd better get a job because you're going to need money. Fast. Cause I'm not paying for your education."

"What?!"

"Why should I pay for something you're not going to even be getting? You're not serious about school, all you want to do is party with your friends and have sex with this kid you think you're in love with. You're going to end up flunking out and pregnant, and you can do that on your own dime - not mine."

With that, she walked away.

Not paying for my education?!

What kind of job am I going to get that will pay for 4 years' tuition?

I HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD A JOB BEFORE!

Oh God.



Okay, so, as if that were not bad enough, Jamia came up to me in the hall after second period.

I gather she was mad because Frank changed his seat in first period today and he now sits on the other side of me. His old seat is now occupied by a pimple-faced girl named Lauren Wachowsis. (She's on the chess team.) You should have seen Jamia's face when she noticed this. I nearly died laughing. But you know, Frank is just such a nice person he was not sure how to tell her that he can't really talk to her anymore, and I feel bad about the situation but at the same time I'm not about to take back what I said. I don't want her around him. Period.

So she comes up to me after second period when I'm at my locker, right? And I am already not in the mood. I spent all of first period writing notes with Frank trying to figure out a way to not let my mom crush my dreams, but there isnt one. Financially she has me right where she wants me. But I still dont intend to cave to her. Frank says we will work on a plan later but I dont know what we can do.

But back to Jamia.

"Lindsay," she said with a snobby tone, as I was looking for a book in my locker.

I turned around and huffed, because I really didnt want to talk to her as it was.

"So, I have heard from numerous people that you dont like me," she said. "But dont you think that getting Frank to change his seat was a little bit childish?"

I had been put down enough times already that day by my mom, I really didnt need this chick passing judgment on me, too. And God, just the look on her face makes me so angry!

I could have denied that I was behind the seat change, but I was rather proud that I was. Especially since it obviously bothered her.

"I would suggest that you not anger me today Jamia, because my distress tolerance level is currently very low," I said, with forced calmness.

She laughed at me!

The bitch tossed her head back and laughed this little cackle like I was a funny insignificant joke to her.

"Well, I'm not here to 'anger' you, Lindsay. I am just here to inform you that you do not have to be so insecure about Frank. I am just his friend -"

"No. You're not. I am Frank's friend. You are merely a nuisance. A jealous pathetic loser who keeps trying to force him to be friends with you, when ultimately he could care less."

"Loser?!" she asked. "You calling me a loser is ridiculous. You are the biggest loser I have ever seen."

"Jamia, I am giving you fair warning. Stay away from me and stay away from my boyfriend...or I will staple you in your eye."

I dont see how I could have made it more plain.

But she continued to bait me. She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me this smug little look.

"The only reason you are with Frank now is because I turned him down and you were convenient," she said, arrogantly raising her eyebrows. "That's why you dont like me. Because you know that you were, and will always be, his second choice. You can't stop me from talking to Frank. I'll talk to him whenever I want, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it."

"Oh really?" I asked, closing my locker.

"Yes. Really," she replied.

And that's when I punched her in the nose.

I didnt even know I was going to do it! Next thing I knew she was on the ground! All my frustrations just built up and I unleashed on her. I grabbed her by the hair and dragged her up but she started swinging blindly at me, smacking and scratching at me. So I shoved her into the lockers. By then people were crowding around and some teachers had run up to pull us apart.

"You crazy bitch!" she cried, still trying to claw at me as the Biology teacher pulled her away. "You're crazy!"

"Dont fuck with me, Jamia! I will knock you out!" I screamed back.


Needless to say, I ended up in the Principal's office.


And I got sent home with 3 days' suspension.


Just to recap:


Worst. Day. Ever.